Eight years ago, I created a new model for my life. I chose to always set my agenda and not get pushed into agendas that didn’t energize me, and so that meant I was the master of my time.
I am very happy about being time-rich. But as humans, nothing is perfect, and there are days when I am pushed into a familiar corner because I do not have a packed agenda. A corner that seems to tell me that I am “not enough”. It’s a familiar corner; I know it intimately. Last Monday, I found myself in that corner. Today it was telling me that I hadn’t done enough on a particularly favorite project. Like an Instagram reel with loaded music, my mind was telling me how I could have been better at this project. My sense of imperfection in what I had produced was like a topping to my “not enough” cake.
Mondays are a great fuel for a sense of imperfection and often push me into this corner. I did what I often do when I am in my corner: I look to fight out of that corner by doing something that is high energy. I could see my bicycle just outside my window, and Goa has some wonderful trails. I got ready and burst out on my bike, all set to hammer myself out of that corner!
And just as I hit the main road, I came across Ravi, another rider around my age who had also moved to Goa recently. He was a friend, and we often met for a drink. He was a stronger cyclist and a calmer guy. Today we rode together silently, and I seemed to be inadvertently leading us toward a tough, hilly trail. It was the road to a well-known local chapel, and many Christians walked the tough route to that chapel. Of course, getting my ass kicked was my way of getting out of the corner, remember? It was a tough route, with lots of upward-winding, narrow roads; some parts had tarmac, and others were just dirt patches.
In Christianity, flagellation is a spiritual discipline that can be used as a form of penance, and my choice of route seemed to be mirroring that mindset. But Ravi was fitter and more assured on the bike, and in comparison, I felt like someone who had just been tumbled and wrung dry in a top-loaded washing machine. Finally, we reached the top. There was a lovely chapel, painted white, and a large banyan trees surrounding it. A pink bougainvillea on the chapel wall made it just picture-perfect. We rested our bikes on the wall and stopped to sip water.
And that’s when Ravi commented, “What happened? Are you trying to train for the Tour de France or what?" “Why so much hardship, buddy, on a lovely, good winter morning?”. I mumbled something in return, about wanting to train hard, about fitness routines, about challenging oneself, and about how this route was not tough enough. And he said, “Fuck you," as only friends can say. Then, more softly but in a firm voice, he said,” Go easy on yourself; don't always look for perfection; haven’t you heard of Wabi-sabi?" And then, right there in front of that pink flower-draped wall, he told me about this Japanese concept of "Wabi Sabi"—the beauty and appreciation of things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. Suddenly something shifted in me: Why does life have to be perfect?
Source: Adam Levine
What a wonderful thought! It forced me to think about having a relationship with "imperfection.".
Accepting imperfection seeing “beauty” in it and accepting life’s transience. And then living a philosophy that says, 'Nothing lasts, nothing is complete, and nothing is perfect.
So bringing ideas to life and living life is all about embracing the spirit of “Wabi Sabi." Don’t wait for perfection to launch your idea, relationship, or product, and don’t see imperfection as a failure. Don’t ruin your Monday just because your project is not perfect.
And then another thought struck me: I must lead my life with friends like Ravi as my corner man. The term corner man" comes from boxing and signifies a deep relationship with another person who becomes your teammate. The corner man is a “coach who helps the fighter during the bout." In life’s terms, this means that the corner man is there to go through the turmoil with you and coach you through the "fight." Go choose your corner, man, wisely! Find your Ravi and make every Monday a Friday!
This is a lovely piece, sir. Needed this today.
Lovely! If there is one thing I have learnt over the last few years, it's about being kind to yourself. And I see wabi-sabi in that- you can only be kind to yourself if you are willing to accept yourself as you are- imperfections and all!
Power to you, my friend- keep going!